Wedding Stress

How do I not have a stressful wedding?

There are several answers to this question. So I'll give you my best three answers after working with hundreds of couples over my many years of DJ-ing weddings.

1) Hire confident professionals. Your wedding coordinator, photographer, DJ, band and even the minister/pastor who performs for your wedding should be the last people to bring stress to you on your special day. If they are all professionals, with years of experience under their belt, all of these individuals should have so much experience between them that the last thing they will do is add to whatever nerves you or the wedding party brings to the event.
It is easy to distinguish the good from the bad with a simple meeting and the most obvious questions that you can come up with before your interview. Be prepared before you call or contact these individuals and put some thought into what it is you are looking for in your wedding. Write down all of your questions, you will thank yourself later.

2) Be prepared to improvise. I have yet to do a wedding that has been on time down to the minute of a preplanned time schedule. This is a good thing in my opinion. Whether your ahead of schedule or behind. If you take a few more minutes with your photographer to get a special picture before you do the grand entrance or before dinner is served... good. Ten years after your wedding you will remember capturing or not getting that special photo more than you will remember if your time table was right on. This is not to say that you shouldn't try to stick to a schedule, just don't let said schedule control your happy day. On that note; don't let your DJ, Wedding coordinator or family members bully you. Take a moment, breathe and realize that this is your day and not theirs.

3) Relax and have fun! In the end it is up to you to make the most of your day. You are marrying the man or woman of your dreams. What can be more important than that? If you bring to much stress to the party then us professionals (coordinator, photographer, family or DJ) can do very little to help you out of the anxiety hole that you have dug for yourself.
Let me give you two examples to prove my point.

a) I once performed at a wedding that was lavish to say the least. The bride unfortunately could not be satisfied with any part of her wedding or reception no matter what. She had to be in control of everything at all time and at all cost. She complained about the flowers that were the wrong color, the silverware, the cake, the lighting, the room of her reception, her dress, the tuxedos, the weather, the food and yes even the music I was playing. This poor woman could not be satiated or consoled by her family, friends, me or her new husband. It seemed that no matter what was being done or what was going on she could not just relax and be happy.
Now I understand that if her wedding was a total disaster say like... the movie "Sixteen Candles", then she would have valid complaints. But, if she was this demanding during her wedding, I only assumed that she must have been a huge part of the decisions on all of her complaints before the wedding (flowers, cake, dress, tuxedos, etc.) especially since it looked like there was plenty of money thrown in to the wedding.
So what happened? This poor woman ruined what could have been a beautiful day. Everyone (even family) came to the conclusion that she could not be satisfied. Unfortunate... Don't let this be you.

b) I did another wedding (like most) that was going just great. The bride and the groom were a cute couple and were obviously in love. They were from modest upbringings and did not have much money to spend on their wedding but they made the best of what money they had.
When I showed up at the reception to set up, it seemed as if there was something amiss with a few of the guests. You could read on several of the brides maids and the mother of the bride's face that something tragic had happened by open mouth gasps with shared hand holding. I thought someone had died. I of course came over to see if there was anything that I could do help with whatever problem had arose. I was relieved to find out that nobody had died.
Unfortunately, a tragedy had occurred though. The delivery van that was transporting the wedding cake had been rear ended and the wedding cake was demolished. The wedding coordinator and the mother of the bride were working on the phone frantically with the bakery to try and rectify the situation before the Bride and Groom showed up to the reception.
When the Bride and Groom arrived I went outside to coordinate the Grand Entrance. Immediately, the Bride could see by the looks on her mother's face that something was not right. Very concerned, she asked her mother what was the matter. The mother, through pursed lips, explained to the Bride what had happened and then the Bride reacted like I don't think anyone expected her too. With a smile on her face she says, "Well, was anyone hurt"? The mother replies, "No". The bride; "Well, are they sending over a replacement cake or are we just not going to have cake"? The mother hurriedly answers, "Oh no, the bakery already has a replacement cake being delivered. It just won't be the flavor you asked for or decorated the way you had planned." The bride simply shrugged her shoulders and then said, "Good. All that matters is that I am married. Don't worry about it". I was impressed to say the least.
This Bride and Groom had every reason to flip out over such horrible news but chose to enjoy their day no matter what. Guess what? The cake showed up and the reception was a blast for everyone involved. Conclusion? Don't let things you can't control dictate your great day. Relax...

Curtis